It almost seems like an everyday occurrence lately. You turn to a friend and talk about a movie you loved when they reply, "Oh they're remaking it." "WHAT?!," you exclaim as you rush to your computer or smartphone to check IMDb only to see that the studio is not only remaking it, but have chosen an actor or director that makes you shake your head. In recent years, you've seen "Clash of the Titans" remake that changed the mythology of Perseus, but be somewhat watchable. This weekend "Fright Night" opens, where Colin Farrell remakes the 80's vampire movie. Just what America needs, another vampire movie. What's more horrifying is that he's filming a remake of "Total Recall". It's understandable that Hollywood needs to take already established franchises and continue to churn them out to make money. "Final Destination 19" is due soon, where there's a premonition of death on line at the supermarket. Thanks to George Lucas, prequels opened up a new door of crappy films to get out. "Cruel Intentions" has a prequel. Hollywood has always made sequels, but now they can show how it got to the original. Either way, no remake, prequel or substandard sequel can hurt the original, right? Well, how often have you watched "Star Wars" since the prequels where made. I beg to Hollywood, don't touch these films because there's no way to improve them.
Citizen Kane - Orsen Welles' premiere film that was a semi-homage to his life and the life of William Randolph Hurst was a masterpiece of cinematography, storytelling and good acting. Though it was shutout of the Oscars due to politics, it was placed at number one on the Amercian Film Institute's all time list. It was a film before it's time and one that still has an iconic image of Welles' whispering "Rosebud".
Why can it never be remade? Well the prequel/sequel is out since that's in the story telling, but if it's to be updated for modern times, it's not going to match the original. There could be capable actors out there, but no one could ever pull the remake off.
Back to the Future - Here's a fun great film that was made perfectly, even if they ended with an actor that wasn't the first choice. The film had great charisma, action, comedy and story. It was something you can watch over and over again and still laugh at the same points. It is the reason the Delorean is even relevant in the minds of the average 25+ year old.
Why can it never be remade? Can there be another Marty McFly? Of course not. Michael J. Fox was perfect. In what is his biggest film, Fox hits every aspect of the character flawlessly and looking as if he's having a great time doing it. The supporting cast was perfect as well with Christopher Lloyd, Cripsin Glover and Lea Thompson. Add on to this reason, you won't find a better director than Robert Zemeckis.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Back to the lead actor making a movie un-remake-able, this 1986 John Hughes timeless film is the perfect example. Matthew Broderick's eternal smirk and narration is stuck inside many people's minds over the last thirty years. You can't turn on Family Guy without a Ferris Bueller reference. How many people have stared at a picture wearing a Gordie Howe jersey?
Why can't this film be remade? It's Broderick. Nothing more needs to be said. I'm sure Hollywood will try to make this again with an Ellen Paige clone, but this film was an 80's icon. Also times have changed, and Ferris' sick play won't work as well now unless he's Facebook savvy.
It's A Wonderful Life - A staple of the Christmas season, it's a movie that's not really about Christmas. Frank Capra's film about a man who is saved by his guardian angel and shown what the world would be like if he never existed, was original and beloved years AFTER it's release.
Why can't this film be remade? Besides Jimmy Stewart being one of the most beloved American actors of All Time, the innocence of the fifties is captured brilliantly by one of the best directors of the 20th century. The scene of Stewart realizing he was alive and running through town screaming, "Merry Christmas," is etch into everyone's minds...if you were born before 1985.
A Christmas Story - Another Christmas movie (don't worry, it's the only other one) but this one is actually about Christmas. The story of a young boy that just wants a Bee-bee rifle gun and journey to get there. It covers bullies, decoder rings, flagpole licking, eating soap after cursing, wearing pink bunny suits and being pushed down a slide by Santa's foot.
Why can't this be remade? TBS shows this movie for 24 hours straight every year. It's one of the most popular quotable films. "You'll shoot your eye out, kid," is a line everyone knows. Plus how can you improve on Darren McGavin getting a lamp in the shape of a leg?
The Princess Bride - The first film directed by Rob Reiner is a perfect example of a Four Quadrant movie (good for men, women, old and young). It gives great performances by several actors from Cary Elwes, Mandy Patinkin, Andre the Giant, Chris Sarandon and Robin Wright while Fred Savage is read the story from his grandfather Peter Falk. It's a sweet fairy tale that never skips on it's humor for a needless crude joke.
Why can't this be remade? Movies these days try to fit in dick and fart jokes as much as they can. This would be one that would not fit. Also, find a person that doesn't know a line from this movie. You can't. Where to begin on the memorable moments or quotes? Just leave it with this: do you know the end of this quote? "Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya..." You're saying it right now, aren't you.
The Outsiders - One of the forgotten great Francis Ford Coppola films with a great story and a star studded cast that launched many careers. The film was the last great greaser gang films and is one of the films you can't turn off.
Why can't this be remade? Name a movie with this many stars at the beginning of their careers and done well. The only actor that didn't make it huge from this film was C. Thomas Howell, but it had Rob Lowe, Tom Cruise, Emilio Estevez, Ralph Macchio, Patrick Swayze and Diane Lane.
Casablanca - Humphrey Bogart's well known speech and possibly his great performance about an American tavern owner in unoccupied Africa in the early days of World War II that re-encounters an old flame.
Why can't this be remade/prequelled? Prequel is a possibility for Hollywood, but why would they? Why not? It's a way to make a quick buck since the film CAN'T be remade. No one can reproduce Bogart's "Here's Looking at You" speech. No should anyone try?
Perhaps there's other films for the list. There really weren't many prequels mentioned, but feel free to suggest some other films for the list.
