Can Spider-Man Still Amaze Us?

The Amazing Spider-Man
opens July 3rd.

In 2002, Spider-Man bursted in movie theaters with the single weekend record at the box office. Becoming the first movie to open with a $100 million dollar weekend, the Spider-Man franchise went on to destroy that record twice. As far as the films went, the first two were exceptional and the third...was a movie. Any way, the Amazing Spider-Man comes out in theaters on July 3rd with a new cast and new director. No more Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi. Hello Andrew Garfield and (500) Days of Summer director Mark Webb. Will The Amazing Spider-Man do just that?

Spider-Man 2's train fight was iconic. Can The Amazing Spider-Man
deliver the same great action sequence?

Previously written in this blog in Advice the Dark Knight would give Spider-Man and Vice Versa, Spider-Man's original concept worked well as opposed to Batman's flawed and failed Batman Forever and Batman and Robin. That's why Batman could reboot a lot easier than Spider-Man. Unfortunately, most people have fresh memories of the great films in the franchise. Tobey Maguire's Peter Parker was outstanding and considered by many as one of the best heroes on screen. Raimi's vision for the francise had a very comic style without hindering storytelling. Spider-Man 2 was called the greatest comic book movie ever by Roger Ebert. The franchise has one of the most iconic action scenes in comic movie history with the train top fight between Doc Ock and Spidey, culminating with a runaway train and a mask-less Spider-Man human surfing the people he saved. The first two films were well written, well casted, well conceived and well performed. Again the third installment...was a movie too. How can they top that? By telling another origin story? Come on, gotta give us something this franchise hasn't seen at all. 

Andrew Garfield takes the reigns
as the nerdy web-slinger.

That's what Sony and Marvel is attempting. This Peter Parker will be snarkier than ever and will show case Parker's scientific side more than the previous series. Gone are Parker's organic web-shooters. Now, Peter has to make his own shooters. Of course, there's going to be the traditional trial-and-error period every superhero has, but this could be different from Maguire's flight into a wall in the original.  It will also introduce a new (...or original) love interest- Gwen Stacey (played by Emma Stone). It'll also be the second time a Spider-Man love interest goes from a natural redhead to a blonde as Bryce Dallas Howard did the same in Spider-Man 3. Odd, Kirsten Dunst was blonde that went red for the original three films. This film also has another new villian by introducing the Lizard. Now, the original story had Curt Connors as Peter's teacher. This one appears to go in a different direction. Connors worked at Oscorp with Peter's father. Will their teacher/mentor relationship translate to this new style? Spider-Man has always had one mystery that many fans never got to know: what happened to his parents. As seen in the first teaser trailer, this film wants Spidey fans to see that story. Trailers show great fight scenes with the Lizard and a huge antenna collapsing toward the streets of New York, so fans will get to see plenty of action, but will it top the originals?

Emma Stone's Gwen Stacey will develop much different
from Kirsten Dunst's MJ.

Tuesday audiences will get to view The Amazing Spider-Man for themselves. It has a lot to live up to, but also a bit to make audiences forget. What remains to be seen will be the plans Marvel has for the rest of the series and will they mess up the third part as bad as they did originally. If they do, it's no problem. The Spectacular Spider-Man is likely due out in 2023 if there's any hiccups. If it's successful, then this franchise can swing it's way to new heights.

The Lizard is unlike any previous Spidey villain. Can he
compete with the Green Goblin and Doc Ock?

Will Seth MacFarlane Translate to the Big Screen?

Ted opens Friday
June 29th

Since 1997, Seth MacFarlane has been on a roller coaster. In the late 90's, his blockbuster series Family Guy began, but was jerked around by Fox to numerous different days and different time slots. Though fans of the show were discouraged, in a way Fox helped MacFarlane. His show progressively got more racy and vulgar to the point that "the line" wasn't visible. The "pushing of the envelope" saw more than just some quirky cutaways to Walt Disney telling Minnie Mouse to strip, Kurt Cobain telling people to say no to drugs, to the dog Brian winning an adult film award known as a "Woody" (that had to be blurred). There was even an episode Fox refused to air where the Griffins explored converting to Judaism so Chris could be good at math. The show was cancelled in 2003, but was reborn on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim and returned to Fox in 2005 after a movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story was released on DVD. Now the show that pushed the envelope pushes it further.

MacFarlane takes on a new medium and a new role: motion picture director with his first major film Ted. Now fans of MacFarlane's Family Guy will flock to the movie in droves, but how will it be for those not familiar with his hit show? MacFarlane has directed countless animated shows, but will that same humor be used in his film. Telling a story in a movie is completely different from model he used in the Family Guy movie, where MacFarlane cut it up into multiple stories to eventually be shown in 30 minutes segments of TV. Ted won't do that though it will be interesting to see how he develops a 90 minute film.

MacFarlane mixes his crude and cute humor well. Look
no further than the "Thunderbuddies song".

One thing is for certain, MacFarlane is accompanied with plenty of talent. Ted stars Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, who's star is getting brighter every day. His supporting cast looks promising as well with Joel McHale and Giovanni Ribisi along with Family Guy alums Patrick Warburton, Patrick Stewart and Alex Borstein. The story is original and simple, a young boy wishes that his toy bear was real. The bear comes to life and their friendship expands. It's like a fairy tale except that everyone ages and that's where the complications come in. Ted has always lived with his owner John, but is being nudged to move out by Ted's girlfriend Lori (Kunis). It's actually a simple story about friendship. It just happens to be about a boy and his toy bear. It's also a little ironic that the beautiful girlfriend is played Kunis, who's character Meg on Family Guy is the object of scorn and ridicule because she isn't attractive.

How MacFarlane handles the transition to the big screen remains to be seen. Ted can explode in theaters this weekend or completely implode. If MacFarlane comes through, it'll just be another medium he has conquered. If Family Guy has shown us anything, there's no telling what he'll do next.

Ted picks up a girl named Sauvingnon Blanc.

Is "Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter" What's Wrong or Right with Movies?

****Because I had to research the film before it came out, may contain some spoilers********

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
premieres Friday June 21st.

Movies are wondrous ways to transport us to other worlds and other realities. Look at original ideas in recent years like District 9 or Inception that work, whereas some films seemed like the films were phoned in like No Strings Attached or Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon. Suspension of Disbelief is important in theater, but movies have taken plenty of liberties over the years. Dick was a good film about two teenagers who turned out to be the informant Deepthroat from the Watergate investigation or something as simple as Harold Lloyd picking up Babe Ruth in Speedy back in the 1920's. Which brings us to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter...which seems like the dumbest idea since Greedo shooting first in the 1997 cut of Star Wars, but it coming out this weekend anyway. Will it be able to suspend our disbelief or just make everyone realize that they lost two hours that would have been better spent watching a Paul Walker movie? That's right...BETTER spent watching a Paul Walker movie.

As far as in idea goes, it's certainly original. Who would have thought of it? From the writer of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (Seth Grahame-Smith), the story is told from the secret diaries of our 16th President and the tragic death of his mother not to a milk sickness, but to a dose of vampire blood. As the story progresses, Lincoln finds that slaves are not being used for labor, but as food. As a result, Lincoln decides to become an abolitionist. As the tale continues, it takes Lincoln's life all the way to the White House and through past his assassination by the vampire/actor John Wilkes Booth. To be honest, reading how the story unfolds with a great big hard-on for vampires and the history of Lincoln to meld both together into an interesting story. Grahame-Smith used several people involved in the history of the United States and the Confederacy to accomplish this feat. You have to hand it to him.

Was the Gettysburg Address really
about Vampires?

Now for the negative and there's a lot in the counter-position. The story itself is pretty generic. Vampires are everywhere and it's the same basic premise as your typical revenge movie. You know, the hero's in the family is killed by someone and the hero hates him and everyone like him. Therefore the hero kills all without mercy or discrimination. That's all well and good, but this is about Honest Abe and the story seems to use some of the moment from history, but neglect the characters they represent. Historians suggest that Mary Todd suffered from Bipolar Disorder, will that be brought up? Abraham Lincoln kills vampires without mercy- that doesn't sounds like one of the more gentler presidents. The summery excuses the cotton trade and the fight over slavery as just a vampire tactic to feed. Ummmm.... wouldn't they run out of food if they devoured all the humans?  

This story sounds like it could have been about JFK. It could have excused all of the indiscretions of the Kennedy family by insisting they were... werewolves. Will it be able to pull it off? We'll find out this week.

TV Characters That Caused More Trouble Than They Were Worth

Every story of a hero has a friend or sidekick that just makes his (or her) job more difficult. It's not enough if you're trying to save the world from terrorists, evil machines, super-villains, mutants or trying to save the universe from big-creatures, but these characters always managed to make the job MUCH more difficult. Didn't you just wish these characters would just get aced and make the job easier? Actually one of them did...but no one cried.

Ed wasn't that annoying, but
certainly worth a slap.

Ed (Cowboy Bebop) - Ed is actually more useful than most of the characters on this list. She spoke pretty much nonsensical and was super-smart. She mooched a ride off of the Bebop crew with a remote control she made and never made too much trouble, but watching her was just annoying. One of the few characters that made you happy when she left the show in the third-to-last episode and even produced a slight reaction. The show was good with her and better without her.

Shut the f- up!!! Snarf! Snarf! 

Snarf (Thundercats) - Lion-O's nursemaid/guardian was shrill and annoying. He really didn't do much besides be...useless. Supposedly, there were good times, but they were few and far between. As a matter of fact, Lion-O didn't even want him around. If only other heros on this list had the same opinion.

Thanks for the Pizza, now the
hell out of the way!!!!

April O'Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) - O'Neil was usually a capable woman. An update on the Lois-Lane-type of investigative reporter first befriended the Turtles when she was assaulted by foot-soldiers of the Shedder, but that was not the last time she'd find trouble. In the quest to always find "the story", April would constantly get into trouble and need the Turtles to bail them out. In every aspect of the Turtles media, O'Neil was the damsel-in-distress, though just as bad as Master Splinter's frequent times being a hostage. She proved quite useful helping the Turtles get leads and alerting them of trouble as well as being a constant prisoner.

Dana was a good soldier...
and a complete idiot.

Dana Sterling (Robotech) - The bothersome behavior, voice and attitude of the leader of the Army of the Southern Cross' 15th squadron could make you puke. Whether it was being used as a "weapon" against the Zentraedi to show the beauty of life or something, or her falling in love with an enemy soldier (Zor Prime) and fighting for his rights- then asking him out on a date. In her disagreements with High Commanders, listening to her was as agonizing as admitting she was right. Truth is that she had several other annoying counter-parts, but since she was the leader, she's the worst.

As I wrote this, Duke
fell into another coma!

Duke (GI Joe) - Another leader of an elite band of soldiers that somehow caused more trouble than what he was worth. As much as Duke led the Joe's admirably, he was also captured frequently (5 times) or put into a coma (three times) and eventually had to be bailed out by the other Joes. Just for good measure, Channing Tatum's Duke is about to get aced next March when the sequel to GI Joe: Rise of Cobra comes out.

How many times did you wish
Pidge was killed? Hmm 100?

Pidge (Voltron: Lions) - Known as the smallest of the Voltron members, Pidge always tried to prove himself and always found trouble. He'd disobey orders, go off on his own, find the enemy... and get caught. If he'd be less of a dumbass, he'd realize that Voltron couldn't work without ALL FIVE MEMBERS. Even when the mighty robot warrior took a hit, his shrill scream probably pierced everyone's ear drums.

Great reporters can see
though a pair of glasses.

Lois Lane (Superman) - Investigative reporters are always the worst for heroes. They stick their noses in dangerous places and end up causing a problem. I'm pretty sure if Superman had another girl to choose from, he may have let her die. When has there ever been a time when Lane wasn't looking into a lead and got caught? Maybe twice in the 80 years of Superman stories. Didn't she win a Pulitzer Prize? She should be smarter than that. In the first handful of Superman movies, Lois was caught in an earthquake and stuck with terrorist at the Eiffel Tower or was it Niagra Falls. Either way, who had to bail her out? Yup, Superman. What would happen if one of those enemies had a green rock? Oh yeah, he's fucked. How could she not she through a pair of cheap glasses and see the man she's in love with? Lois Lane sets women back a hundred years every time on screen. Thanks Lois. 

As hot as useless, Kim Bauer was
kidnapped ALL THE TIME!!

Kim Bauer (24) - She was in as much trouble as she was hot...which is a 10 out of 10. The first season saw Kim kidnapped...twice. She was involved in a car cash, avoiding a murder-rap and used as a decoy in season 3 to get the key villain out in the open. She also got stuck in a cougar trap and had to be rescued by Johnny Chase. Her boyfriends (Chase and... um...Rocker Douche) lost limbs and her romantic pursuit of her kidnapper in season 1 led to her getting arrested. However, Kim had one moment that was cool. At the end of season 2, Kim was trapped in a walk-in closet with her murdering employer (played by Billy Burke) and was told by her father Jack to shoot him. Begrudgingly, she did. When she got back on the phone, Jack told her to shoot him again. A more cold version of her surfaced as she shot him again. Other than that, Kim was useless. No wonder why Elisha Cuthbert kept leaving the show.

This twerp had to be saved
by his cluesless kid!!!!

Spike (Transformers) - The human friend of robots from Cybertron was more like cement shoes than a helping hand. He got captured more than the French surrendered and other than screaming, was completely useless. There were times where he got out of trouble and then would fall right back into it. He was only member of the Transformers universe to curse (original cut of Transformers: the Movie) and had to be rescued by his equally pathetic and clueless kid Daniel. Really? Are you for real? What a weenie?

Jason Todd's Robin was best known for getting
killed. That pretty much sums him up. 

Isn't this what Robin really was?

Robin/Jason Todd (Batman) - Jason Todd's, also known as Robin #2, was the reckless sidekick that Bruce Wayne picked after Dick Grayson left. The fans hated the new Robin so much that he was killed off after a poll in where over five thousand people voted for his death (Batman: A Death in the Family) and no one cared... really. He was more known for dying than anything else!!! He remains Batman's greatest regret as the only partner to die in the line of duty. He didn't even make the cut for the Arkham games. If you ever need help remembering Robin (granted all Robins factor) look to Tiny Toon Adventures parody where the Robin character was Hampton as Decoy- The Pig Hostage. He gets the nod as the worst if you consider that he was trained by Batman, who is the world's greatest detective.

There you can some of the most annoying side characters in movies/TV history. Go on and add your own.

Will Prometheus Be the Best Prequel Ever?

Prometheus is set to open
June 8th.

In Scream 2, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Kennedy and Timothy Olyphant argue about sequels. "A sequel is always inferior," Kennedy's character said. Olyphant argued Aliens, but was quickly smacked down as "Ridley Scott rules." Well, Scott returns to the Alien series (becoming the only director to do so) with something that's always been more inferior than sequels- the prequel. Ah, the prequel. The idea that should get George Lucas punched in the face every time someone says the word, but this series that featured two GREAT films and two eh-films with three great filmmakers (Ridley Scott, James Cameron and David Fincher and the fourth written by Josh Whedon), it stands to figure this won't be Cruel Intentions 2. By the way, who green-lit that piece of shit?

Sweden's Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Noomi Rapace takes
on the lead role in Prometheus.

Now the original Alien was an outer-space horror film, that is constantly argued against it's successor- James Cameron's action film Aliens- but on top of Scott's great direction is possibly one of the best casts of all time. Top to bottom, this cast featured Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Harry Dean Stanton, Yaphet Kotto, Ian Holm and Veronica Cartwright. Scott's cast for Prometheus is along the same lines with rising star Michael Fassbender, emerging star Noomi Rapace and filling out the cast with solid actors like Guy Pierce, Idris Elba and Charlize Theron. Chances are this cast will live up to their predecessor if their past performances are any indication.

Another year, another blockbuster prequel for rising star
Michael Fassbender.

According to webisodes and inside information (no spoilers), Prometheus will explore it's own mythology and isn't directly connected to the Alien franchise. As Scott was quoted, "It has strands of Alien DNA." Maybe that's the best idea for a prequel ever. What is a prequel supposed to be? It's own story. It's not supposed to simply explain why things happened in the original movie. X-Men: First Class went that direction and it worked (even though some hardcore fans were pissed off) whereas X-Men Origins: Wolverine tried to fit everything altogether, only to make key points not fit. A prequel needs to be it's own story without destroying what the original one was. If the audience sees something it recognizes and it delighted, then the filmmakers have done their job. The second the audience says, "What the fuck?!", the jig is up. Sequels don't have that issue, because they expand on the story. Prequels have to conform to the original since we know the result. None of what Prometheus will be about Ellen Ripley or the crew of the Nostromo, now what remains to be seen is how much this will do with the mythology of the Alien series. Scott's Alien dealt with the alien and nothing more. It wasn't until Cameron's Aliens the study of the monsters organization came to be.

With this summer already delivering two quality films in Marvel's The Avengers and MIB 3 and The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises coming, it's understandable that Prometheus can be overlooked. That said, it could end up better than any prequel ever made.