Ten of the Worst Adaptations of All Time

Super Mario Bros was
just bad, but it didn't make
list.

Some of the greatest films of all time have been adapted from smaller stories. Whether it's from something like a book, novella or short story, to TV series and video games in recent times, movies have taken ideas and expanded or condensed them to make compelling motion pictures. After all thirteen of IMDb's top fifteen movies are based off books, plays or short stories with Inception and Pulp Fiction being the notable originals. The fact is that a great story can translate to a great film, or a bad one if not handled properly. The greatest franchise in movie history (James Bond) was adapted from Ian Fleming's series of novels, but imagine if the first was a bomb. Would it been a successful series? Of course not, it would crumble. In spite of that reasoning, one of the films on this list will defy explanation, however the rest tried to either expand their franchise with a new vision or just let it lie. This list is based upon popularity, risk, reception, the quality of the adaptation itself and the franchise's potential (if applicable).

Moneyball is a good film
until facts come into play.

10) Moneyball (2011) - If you've read this blog for Worst Movies of 2011, Moneyball was the loser as worst movie. Now, that isn't saying that Moneyball was a bad movie, but it didn't represent the facts well. The film excluded all mention of pitchers Mark Mulder, Tim Hudson, Barry Zito, Corey Lidle and AL MVP Migel Tejada and All Star Eric Chavez to focus on Scott Hatteberg, Chad Bradford and David Justice. The film depicts an acquisition of a situational left-handed reliever as the big moment in a sports movie. However, it wraps up well, citing that Billy Beane is still trying to win the final game of the season and got nominated for Best Picture by film critics who likely did not know the facts excluded by the film.

Too a whole week to make you realize,
you're not getting 10 hours back.

9) Stephen King's The Stand (1994) - One of Stephen King's best books was reduced to a PG-style horror film that could be tame enough for middle America to watch it in front of kids. The cast featured many names Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Corin Nemic, Laura San Giacomo, Ruby Dee, Ozzie Davis, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Walston and Rob Lowe, but they weren't fleshed out by director Mick Garris. Originally the studio wanted George Romero, which was out as soon as ABC wanted it for a miniseries. The full week event boiled down to a nuke exploding in Vegas detonated by the "hand of God". Is there any worse way to end a series than this? Like video games, there hasn't been many good King adaptations, which is hard to explain from America's best selling author.  

Great anime deserves an awful
American live action feature.

8) The Fist of the North Star (1995) - Adapted from a popular anime series, Fist of the North Star took a lot of liberties with the original story and tamed down the action in comparison to the anime series. It's so forgettable that I can't point out much that went wrong, but it's so far down on the list because the cult status of the series and no attempt to reprise or recreate this awful piece. It had a 3.8 rating on IMDb and had Downtown Julie Brown in the supporting cast. Enough said.

Low Budget, poorly written,
The Guyver didn't have
a chance.

7) The Guyver (1991) - Another popular anime series from Japan was depicted on film with Star Wars Mark Hamill headlining in a supporting role. Released during a time where action and comedy were blending together, this film never took itself seriously. Directed by a special effects artist, an overly cartoony style and terribly placed homages to other films, The Guyver never was able to tell it's story with any type of decorum or even satire. The series attempted a sequel in 1994 with Steve Wang directing it alone and a dark tone, but the series was done.

Transformers was more about
Shia LaBeouf wise cracks than
anything.

6) Transformers (2007) - When Michael Bay adapted Transformers to the big screen, most fans asked "Why" before saying "how". From the instant Transformers premiered, it was obvious that the Transformers themselves would be secondary to feature the humans. Unbelievably a huge mistake as Optimus Prime would say, "My Bad," as the film continued to just get dumber. As the series evolved ("evolved" is used liberally), it would steal lines from Star Trek and become a slow motion film when Megan Fox or the other chick appeared on screen. The key point of the Transformers was lost as the fight to steal Earth's power resources was replaced by "the Cube" or the something else. Couple that with the "replicon" from the second movie and the horribly racist robots, you wonder how this series was able to go three movies.

Shouldn't an adaptation
be about the thing your
adapting?

5) Resident Evil (2002) - I've written how about Resident Evil is (and the rest of the series for that matter several times) an abomination. One more won't hurt. It's a bizarre retelling of Alice in Wonderland and completely disregards the series it was adapting to tell a completely irrelevant story with a character that doesn't exist in the series. Most fans of the series have turned away, where somehow it picked up an audience and that blindly sees the sequels. It's actually pretty insulting to the current series of games that desperately are trying to stay relevant to the populous. The fact that this film is still churning out terrible money-making sequels prevents it from being the top of the list. 

Don't worry, Jim Carrey will
do something funny to save us...

4) How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - Ron Howard won an Oscar for a Beautiful Mind and is one of Hollywood's top directors with Splash, The Da Vinci Code, Frost/Nixon, Ransom, Backdraft and Willow to name a few. That said, this is probably Howard's worst film. Adapted from the 22 minute short film (already adapted from the Dr. Seuss short story), Jim Carrey took the role of the Grinch and the spoke freely without rhyme for the most part. The Grinch was given one of the worst backstories of all time- as he was shunned for giving himself a terrible haircut in an attempt to impress Martha May Whovier (Christine Baranski) and while Augustus Maywho (Jeffrey Tambor) taunts him. This film reeked of "Jim Carrey's comedic style will save us", but sadly the movie was not funny or entertaining, yet is considered a holiday classic. Still don't know how, but how did Twilight make 5 movies? Don't know how that happened either.

Almost everyone's career
was ruined by Street Fighter.

3) Street Fighter (1994) - Video games have not been adapted well to the screen (see Why Video Game Movies Haven't Worked) and Street Fighter is the quintessential example of this. With Belgian Jean-Claude Van Damme as America's William F. Guile and Raul Julia as General M. Bison, this film couldn't have been saved if Ming-Na and Kylie Minogue started going at it in the middle of the movie...as in the entire SECOND ACT! It received a rating of 3.7 on IMDb and was so poorly received that no sequel was attempted and the equally awful arcade game was shelved before it made it to consoles. This movie was so weak that it wasn't even mentioned in Raul Julia's epitaph a few months later. Perhaps he died just to get away from the reviews of the film. 

Paul WS Anderson kills three franchises
with this remarkably bad 2004 piece
of dreck.

2) Alien vs. Predator (2004) - Paul W.S. Anderson makes the list again! How this guy continues to make movies baffles Michael Bay. Anderson's hack job on Resident Evil was awful, but RE looks Oscar worthy compared to this piece of crap. Set in Antarctica, AVP (the more stylish title) had humans exploring an ancient temple where the Predators trained their young ones by sacrificing humans to become aliens as right of passage. This goes against the Predator's code that they don't kill unarmed people, but that's another story... I guess. Eventually the spanish archeologist with a terrible accent (get used to that as a reference) deduced that the humans worshiped the Predators to keep the evil inside the temple that the Predators put there. Also, this film makes you root for one of the hated/beloved creatures and gives the audience a "stalemate" ending which is just... well stale. Eventually, AVPR (Aliens vs Predator Requiem) was released a few years later. The film did better with it's tone, but as a sequel to this sad adaptation produced a lackluster sequel. Though left open for another segment, there are no plans for another addition. It even was ignored in a prequel sense. Lance Hendrickson starred as Charles Bishop Weyland, intended to connect the dots to the Weyland company that produced the Bishop android in Aliens. In 2012's Prometheus, Guy Pierce played the owner of the Weyland company, Peter Weyland. The two roles had one thing in common: they both were over-zealous and met their demise from an alien creature.     

So bad that no one wants,
the sequel to come out.

1) G I Joe (2009) - Hasbro established themselves as a production company after Transformers was a success, but G.I. Joe was to solidify their budding company. Starring Channing Tatum (yes, he's awful), Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rachel Nicholos and Marlon Wayans, the film (helmed by the Mummy director Stephen Sommers) was putrid to say the least. The military strongholds of both sides were penetrated faster than a date with a Jersey Shore girl. Also, it's story was as weak as the Scottish accent of Christopher Eccelston's Destro (which may be real and even scarier). This film end quickly, poorly with a twist that no cared about. It was so bad that Channing Tatum's Duke is rumored to be killed in the sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation that has already been pushed back TWICE to March of 2013. The film's stars are nowhere to be found in the sequel (ditto for Sommers) with only Snake Eyes Ray Park returning. Not to say this film series had potential post-9/11, but whatever it had is all but gone and Hasbro finds themselves desperately asking Bruce Willis, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Ray Stevenson to save it.

There's my list I couple compile. If I left anything out, let me know in the comments.

TV Characters That Caused More Trouble Than They Were Worth

Every story of a hero has a friend or sidekick that just makes his (or her) job more difficult. It's not enough if you're trying to save the world from terrorists, evil machines, super-villains, mutants or trying to save the universe from big-creatures, but these characters always managed to make the job MUCH more difficult. Didn't you just wish these characters would just get aced and make the job easier? Actually one of them did...but no one cried.

Ed wasn't that annoying, but
certainly worth a slap.

Ed (Cowboy Bebop) - Ed is actually more useful than most of the characters on this list. She spoke pretty much nonsensical and was super-smart. She mooched a ride off of the Bebop crew with a remote control she made and never made too much trouble, but watching her was just annoying. One of the few characters that made you happy when she left the show in the third-to-last episode and even produced a slight reaction. The show was good with her and better without her.

Shut the f- up!!! Snarf! Snarf! 

Snarf (Thundercats) - Lion-O's nursemaid/guardian was shrill and annoying. He really didn't do much besides be...useless. Supposedly, there were good times, but they were few and far between. As a matter of fact, Lion-O didn't even want him around. If only other heros on this list had the same opinion.

Thanks for the Pizza, now the
hell out of the way!!!!

April O'Neil (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) - O'Neil was usually a capable woman. An update on the Lois-Lane-type of investigative reporter first befriended the Turtles when she was assaulted by foot-soldiers of the Shedder, but that was not the last time she'd find trouble. In the quest to always find "the story", April would constantly get into trouble and need the Turtles to bail them out. In every aspect of the Turtles media, O'Neil was the damsel-in-distress, though just as bad as Master Splinter's frequent times being a hostage. She proved quite useful helping the Turtles get leads and alerting them of trouble as well as being a constant prisoner.

Dana was a good soldier...
and a complete idiot.

Dana Sterling (Robotech) - The bothersome behavior, voice and attitude of the leader of the Army of the Southern Cross' 15th squadron could make you puke. Whether it was being used as a "weapon" against the Zentraedi to show the beauty of life or something, or her falling in love with an enemy soldier (Zor Prime) and fighting for his rights- then asking him out on a date. In her disagreements with High Commanders, listening to her was as agonizing as admitting she was right. Truth is that she had several other annoying counter-parts, but since she was the leader, she's the worst.

As I wrote this, Duke
fell into another coma!

Duke (GI Joe) - Another leader of an elite band of soldiers that somehow caused more trouble than what he was worth. As much as Duke led the Joe's admirably, he was also captured frequently (5 times) or put into a coma (three times) and eventually had to be bailed out by the other Joes. Just for good measure, Channing Tatum's Duke is about to get aced next March when the sequel to GI Joe: Rise of Cobra comes out.

How many times did you wish
Pidge was killed? Hmm 100?

Pidge (Voltron: Lions) - Known as the smallest of the Voltron members, Pidge always tried to prove himself and always found trouble. He'd disobey orders, go off on his own, find the enemy... and get caught. If he'd be less of a dumbass, he'd realize that Voltron couldn't work without ALL FIVE MEMBERS. Even when the mighty robot warrior took a hit, his shrill scream probably pierced everyone's ear drums.

Great reporters can see
though a pair of glasses.

Lois Lane (Superman) - Investigative reporters are always the worst for heroes. They stick their noses in dangerous places and end up causing a problem. I'm pretty sure if Superman had another girl to choose from, he may have let her die. When has there ever been a time when Lane wasn't looking into a lead and got caught? Maybe twice in the 80 years of Superman stories. Didn't she win a Pulitzer Prize? She should be smarter than that. In the first handful of Superman movies, Lois was caught in an earthquake and stuck with terrorist at the Eiffel Tower or was it Niagra Falls. Either way, who had to bail her out? Yup, Superman. What would happen if one of those enemies had a green rock? Oh yeah, he's fucked. How could she not she through a pair of cheap glasses and see the man she's in love with? Lois Lane sets women back a hundred years every time on screen. Thanks Lois. 

As hot as useless, Kim Bauer was
kidnapped ALL THE TIME!!

Kim Bauer (24) - She was in as much trouble as she was hot...which is a 10 out of 10. The first season saw Kim kidnapped...twice. She was involved in a car cash, avoiding a murder-rap and used as a decoy in season 3 to get the key villain out in the open. She also got stuck in a cougar trap and had to be rescued by Johnny Chase. Her boyfriends (Chase and... um...Rocker Douche) lost limbs and her romantic pursuit of her kidnapper in season 1 led to her getting arrested. However, Kim had one moment that was cool. At the end of season 2, Kim was trapped in a walk-in closet with her murdering employer (played by Billy Burke) and was told by her father Jack to shoot him. Begrudgingly, she did. When she got back on the phone, Jack told her to shoot him again. A more cold version of her surfaced as she shot him again. Other than that, Kim was useless. No wonder why Elisha Cuthbert kept leaving the show.

This twerp had to be saved
by his cluesless kid!!!!

Spike (Transformers) - The human friend of robots from Cybertron was more like cement shoes than a helping hand. He got captured more than the French surrendered and other than screaming, was completely useless. There were times where he got out of trouble and then would fall right back into it. He was only member of the Transformers universe to curse (original cut of Transformers: the Movie) and had to be rescued by his equally pathetic and clueless kid Daniel. Really? Are you for real? What a weenie?

Jason Todd's Robin was best known for getting
killed. That pretty much sums him up. 

Isn't this what Robin really was?

Robin/Jason Todd (Batman) - Jason Todd's, also known as Robin #2, was the reckless sidekick that Bruce Wayne picked after Dick Grayson left. The fans hated the new Robin so much that he was killed off after a poll in where over five thousand people voted for his death (Batman: A Death in the Family) and no one cared... really. He was more known for dying than anything else!!! He remains Batman's greatest regret as the only partner to die in the line of duty. He didn't even make the cut for the Arkham games. If you ever need help remembering Robin (granted all Robins factor) look to Tiny Toon Adventures parody where the Robin character was Hampton as Decoy- The Pig Hostage. He gets the nod as the worst if you consider that he was trained by Batman, who is the world's greatest detective.

There you can some of the most annoying side characters in movies/TV history. Go on and add your own.