Ten of the Worst Adaptations of All Time

Super Mario Bros was
just bad, but it didn't make
list.

Some of the greatest films of all time have been adapted from smaller stories. Whether it's from something like a book, novella or short story, to TV series and video games in recent times, movies have taken ideas and expanded or condensed them to make compelling motion pictures. After all thirteen of IMDb's top fifteen movies are based off books, plays or short stories with Inception and Pulp Fiction being the notable originals. The fact is that a great story can translate to a great film, or a bad one if not handled properly. The greatest franchise in movie history (James Bond) was adapted from Ian Fleming's series of novels, but imagine if the first was a bomb. Would it been a successful series? Of course not, it would crumble. In spite of that reasoning, one of the films on this list will defy explanation, however the rest tried to either expand their franchise with a new vision or just let it lie. This list is based upon popularity, risk, reception, the quality of the adaptation itself and the franchise's potential (if applicable).

Moneyball is a good film
until facts come into play.

10) Moneyball (2011) - If you've read this blog for Worst Movies of 2011, Moneyball was the loser as worst movie. Now, that isn't saying that Moneyball was a bad movie, but it didn't represent the facts well. The film excluded all mention of pitchers Mark Mulder, Tim Hudson, Barry Zito, Corey Lidle and AL MVP Migel Tejada and All Star Eric Chavez to focus on Scott Hatteberg, Chad Bradford and David Justice. The film depicts an acquisition of a situational left-handed reliever as the big moment in a sports movie. However, it wraps up well, citing that Billy Beane is still trying to win the final game of the season and got nominated for Best Picture by film critics who likely did not know the facts excluded by the film.

Too a whole week to make you realize,
you're not getting 10 hours back.

9) Stephen King's The Stand (1994) - One of Stephen King's best books was reduced to a PG-style horror film that could be tame enough for middle America to watch it in front of kids. The cast featured many names Gary Sinise, Molly Ringwald, Jamey Sheridan, Corin Nemic, Laura San Giacomo, Ruby Dee, Ozzie Davis, Miguel Ferrer, Ray Walston and Rob Lowe, but they weren't fleshed out by director Mick Garris. Originally the studio wanted George Romero, which was out as soon as ABC wanted it for a miniseries. The full week event boiled down to a nuke exploding in Vegas detonated by the "hand of God". Is there any worse way to end a series than this? Like video games, there hasn't been many good King adaptations, which is hard to explain from America's best selling author.  

Great anime deserves an awful
American live action feature.

8) The Fist of the North Star (1995) - Adapted from a popular anime series, Fist of the North Star took a lot of liberties with the original story and tamed down the action in comparison to the anime series. It's so forgettable that I can't point out much that went wrong, but it's so far down on the list because the cult status of the series and no attempt to reprise or recreate this awful piece. It had a 3.8 rating on IMDb and had Downtown Julie Brown in the supporting cast. Enough said.

Low Budget, poorly written,
The Guyver didn't have
a chance.

7) The Guyver (1991) - Another popular anime series from Japan was depicted on film with Star Wars Mark Hamill headlining in a supporting role. Released during a time where action and comedy were blending together, this film never took itself seriously. Directed by a special effects artist, an overly cartoony style and terribly placed homages to other films, The Guyver never was able to tell it's story with any type of decorum or even satire. The series attempted a sequel in 1994 with Steve Wang directing it alone and a dark tone, but the series was done.

Transformers was more about
Shia LaBeouf wise cracks than
anything.

6) Transformers (2007) - When Michael Bay adapted Transformers to the big screen, most fans asked "Why" before saying "how". From the instant Transformers premiered, it was obvious that the Transformers themselves would be secondary to feature the humans. Unbelievably a huge mistake as Optimus Prime would say, "My Bad," as the film continued to just get dumber. As the series evolved ("evolved" is used liberally), it would steal lines from Star Trek and become a slow motion film when Megan Fox or the other chick appeared on screen. The key point of the Transformers was lost as the fight to steal Earth's power resources was replaced by "the Cube" or the something else. Couple that with the "replicon" from the second movie and the horribly racist robots, you wonder how this series was able to go three movies.

Shouldn't an adaptation
be about the thing your
adapting?

5) Resident Evil (2002) - I've written how about Resident Evil is (and the rest of the series for that matter several times) an abomination. One more won't hurt. It's a bizarre retelling of Alice in Wonderland and completely disregards the series it was adapting to tell a completely irrelevant story with a character that doesn't exist in the series. Most fans of the series have turned away, where somehow it picked up an audience and that blindly sees the sequels. It's actually pretty insulting to the current series of games that desperately are trying to stay relevant to the populous. The fact that this film is still churning out terrible money-making sequels prevents it from being the top of the list. 

Don't worry, Jim Carrey will
do something funny to save us...

4) How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) - Ron Howard won an Oscar for a Beautiful Mind and is one of Hollywood's top directors with Splash, The Da Vinci Code, Frost/Nixon, Ransom, Backdraft and Willow to name a few. That said, this is probably Howard's worst film. Adapted from the 22 minute short film (already adapted from the Dr. Seuss short story), Jim Carrey took the role of the Grinch and the spoke freely without rhyme for the most part. The Grinch was given one of the worst backstories of all time- as he was shunned for giving himself a terrible haircut in an attempt to impress Martha May Whovier (Christine Baranski) and while Augustus Maywho (Jeffrey Tambor) taunts him. This film reeked of "Jim Carrey's comedic style will save us", but sadly the movie was not funny or entertaining, yet is considered a holiday classic. Still don't know how, but how did Twilight make 5 movies? Don't know how that happened either.

Almost everyone's career
was ruined by Street Fighter.

3) Street Fighter (1994) - Video games have not been adapted well to the screen (see Why Video Game Movies Haven't Worked) and Street Fighter is the quintessential example of this. With Belgian Jean-Claude Van Damme as America's William F. Guile and Raul Julia as General M. Bison, this film couldn't have been saved if Ming-Na and Kylie Minogue started going at it in the middle of the movie...as in the entire SECOND ACT! It received a rating of 3.7 on IMDb and was so poorly received that no sequel was attempted and the equally awful arcade game was shelved before it made it to consoles. This movie was so weak that it wasn't even mentioned in Raul Julia's epitaph a few months later. Perhaps he died just to get away from the reviews of the film. 

Paul WS Anderson kills three franchises
with this remarkably bad 2004 piece
of dreck.

2) Alien vs. Predator (2004) - Paul W.S. Anderson makes the list again! How this guy continues to make movies baffles Michael Bay. Anderson's hack job on Resident Evil was awful, but RE looks Oscar worthy compared to this piece of crap. Set in Antarctica, AVP (the more stylish title) had humans exploring an ancient temple where the Predators trained their young ones by sacrificing humans to become aliens as right of passage. This goes against the Predator's code that they don't kill unarmed people, but that's another story... I guess. Eventually the spanish archeologist with a terrible accent (get used to that as a reference) deduced that the humans worshiped the Predators to keep the evil inside the temple that the Predators put there. Also, this film makes you root for one of the hated/beloved creatures and gives the audience a "stalemate" ending which is just... well stale. Eventually, AVPR (Aliens vs Predator Requiem) was released a few years later. The film did better with it's tone, but as a sequel to this sad adaptation produced a lackluster sequel. Though left open for another segment, there are no plans for another addition. It even was ignored in a prequel sense. Lance Hendrickson starred as Charles Bishop Weyland, intended to connect the dots to the Weyland company that produced the Bishop android in Aliens. In 2012's Prometheus, Guy Pierce played the owner of the Weyland company, Peter Weyland. The two roles had one thing in common: they both were over-zealous and met their demise from an alien creature.     

So bad that no one wants,
the sequel to come out.

1) G I Joe (2009) - Hasbro established themselves as a production company after Transformers was a success, but G.I. Joe was to solidify their budding company. Starring Channing Tatum (yes, he's awful), Sienna Miller, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rachel Nicholos and Marlon Wayans, the film (helmed by the Mummy director Stephen Sommers) was putrid to say the least. The military strongholds of both sides were penetrated faster than a date with a Jersey Shore girl. Also, it's story was as weak as the Scottish accent of Christopher Eccelston's Destro (which may be real and even scarier). This film end quickly, poorly with a twist that no cared about. It was so bad that Channing Tatum's Duke is rumored to be killed in the sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation that has already been pushed back TWICE to March of 2013. The film's stars are nowhere to be found in the sequel (ditto for Sommers) with only Snake Eyes Ray Park returning. Not to say this film series had potential post-9/11, but whatever it had is all but gone and Hasbro finds themselves desperately asking Bruce Willis, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Ray Stevenson to save it.

There's my list I couple compile. If I left anything out, let me know in the comments.

Will Wreck-It Ralph Be Video Games Toy Story?

Wreck-It Ralph premieres
November 2nd

In the mid-1990's, Pixar Studios and the Walt Disney Company showed the world what life was life for toys when their owners weren't paying attention. As the film created a franchise with two more sequels, it's premise was fully explored from getting a new owner to the realization that you're just a toy for a child to play with. This years, Disney (who has their own computer animated division) will release Wreck-It Ralph, a story about a video game villain in a local arcade game that simply doesn't want to be the villain anymore. Will this film create a Toy Story-like world for video games?

There a support group for everyone, including
video game villains. Ganondorf couldn't attend.

The story is simple enough; a bad guy in an arcade game that always has to destroy a building before the players can stop him. The game is called Fix-It Felix, which is a cross between Rampage and ummm...the opposite of Rampage. The bad guy -Wreck-it Ralph (John C. Reilly)- tries to wreck the building as the player tries to fix it. Eventually, we see what life is like inside the game. Ralph attends the bad guy support group called Bad-Anon with other famed video game villains like Bowser (Super Mario Brothers), M. Bison and Zangief (Street Fighter), Kano (Mortal Kombat), Dr. Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog), ghost from PacMan and random zombies. At the end of the session, they conclude with a bad guy affirmation and take their unhappy days "one game at a time". Ralph ends up leaving the game and jumps to others to find his new role in life. Stepping from Hero's Duty to Sugar Rush, where he meets a plucky little glitch named Vanellope (Sarah Silverman). In that time, the threat grows as the outside world pulling the plug on a game that doesn't have it's villain. The basis of the role is finding your role in the world and finding out your importance to it.

John C. Reilly lends his charm
to the title character.

Flanked by charismatic actors (Jane Lynch, Denis Haysbert and Jack McBrayer) lending their voices to the project, Wreck-It Ralph is likely to have plenty of life in it. However, video games never attempted a Toy Story-like approach. Sure this isn't quite the same as the world of toys when they're owners turn their heads, but Disney's blueprint (along with Pixar's help) has proven to be successful overall. Sometimes they pour on a little too much heart and get sappy, but Disney hasn't had the Toy Story success without Pixar's help. Since branching off with their own computer animated division unit, Disney's biggest success has come from their Pixar collaborations. With a little luck, Wreck-It Ralph has plenty to build on.

Note: Fix-It Felix is available on your cellphone app store.

Best Music in Gaming History

In the genesis of the video games, music wasn't needed to soothe the savage beast. Pong didn't have music, neither did Asteroids or Missle Commander. Hell, even Donkey Kong and many early Nintendo games didn't have music except a bit in the beginning. However, as games evolved into bigger experiences with better storytelling, a great score was needed. Some of these games have scores that blockbuster films would envy and set the mood brilliantly. Sometimes it wrenched your guts and sometimes it keeps you going to the next level. The music of these games inspired the constantly sold out show "Video Games Live", where fans get to hear the music of games they loved.

Let's take a look at ten: (will not include Mass Effect, Halo or Dead Space for lack of experience with them and all Star Wars games are out since their music comes straight from the movies.) 

Mega Man gave you a different
feel for every level.

Mega Man - The theme of different tones for different worlds and characters come up a lot and Mega Man was one of the first that used that tactic well. All of the worlds had a their own traits and their own music, but Dr. Wily's was always most ominous and frantic style. This would not be Capcom's only entry in this blog.

Ninja Gaiden's music was key for
the action as well as the cinema
scenes.

Ninja Gaiden (NES) - Probably the earliest game that used cinema cut scenes, but music drove the engine of Ninja Gaiden. Whether it was in the gameplay- where each stage had it's own identifiable music- or the cinema scenes that used the music to build the suspense during Ryu Hyabusa's search for his missing father. Throughout the game, Ryu encounters enemies, friends, counter-agents and even loss of those friends as they are captured or killed. The twists and turns of the story are all given extra juice by the score.

Arkham City put you in the
Dark Knight's skin.

Batman Arkham City - The Arkham games are the one place that DC Comics have conquered Marvel and it's music was a primary reason. Nick Arundel and Ron Fish create a score closer to the Danny-Elfman style, but it's used more like the Christopher Nolan movies that don't overpower the audience. During gameplay, the music stays in the background, but during fights or predator battles, the music leaps to the forefront as the panicking henchman desperately endure the Dark Knights tactics.

With a new techo-style, Metroid Prime
sparked gamer's adrenaline.

Metroid Prime - Metroid didn't use much music that would be memorable until it hit it's stride in Metroid Prime. With a more techno style by Kenjo Yamamoto, Metroid Prime created the style that made you listen to the game as well get your adrenaline pumping. Take the final fight of the first game against Metroid Prime or the battles with Dark Samus, you can't help but slide to the front of the couch as you attempt to destroy your nemesis. The series continued with great music in Metroid: The Other M and continues to reinvent itself all the time.

Resident Evil's score made you
live in a horror movie.

Resident Evil - The original installment relied on silence and mostly ominous tones, but hauntingly crept when the situation called for it. As the series progressed it used the music in the background effectively in a horror movie style. The music was appropriate; never overpowering and never letting you feel safe. Take the fights with Mr. X or Tyrant, where the music is absent and slowly builds to make you sweat. *Music by Akari Kaida, Makoto Tomozawa and Masami Ueda

The music in Street Fighter was
intricate for every stage.

Street Fighter II - The fighting game that spawned the craze. Sure Karate Champ was first, but this was separated from all others by it's music. Every character had their own home and their own theme highlighting the opponents personality. If you fought Zangief, the music would give you a more Russian flare. If you were in America, rock music would play and so on. Sure, some of these stories (PunchOut is also guilty of it) are comically racist, but that's not what we're talking about here. 

Final Fantasy VII was an epic experience
with an epic score.

Final Fantasy VII - Probably the best example of music enhancing the storytelling. From the into of the game to the end, the Final Fantasy series used music better than most other franchises. The composers didn't treat this like a video game- more like an opera. All the characters had their own music. You could have been blind folded and still known when Sephiroth comes on screen. You felt Cloud's decent into madness, when danger came to the group, or even when the members of the group had romantic feelings for one another (by the way, even Barrett could fall for Cloud). Perhaps on of the best moments in gaming history was the Aeis' death (FFVII), which was largely without music, but when inserted beautifully, made many gamers weep. The epic 60 hour experience was full of great music and few were better than it. *Music by Nobuo Uematsu

Who didn't hum the Mario Bros theme?

Super Mario Brothers - Possibly the most famous of all video game music, but it stuck in many gamers heads when they were done popping quarters in the arcade or when they turned off their NES consoles in 1986. The game had different music for the different worlds you'd visit, different tasks you accomplished (like warping: wa, wa, wa) and especially when you grabbed a star. That sounded like to composer took some cocaine and just went nuts. The only thing Mario didn't have was different music for Luigi...but at that time no one cared. This is the first mention of Koji Kondo on the list, but won't be  the last.

If Gear of War becomes a film,
it already has the perfect music.

Gears of War - Believe it or not, this series produced exceptional music throughout it's trilogy. Kevin Riepl's score made it feel like a blockbuster summer action movie. It made a fire fight with hordes of grubs engulfing and kept you fighting until it you heard that tone signaling the last locus had his head blown off. All that is good, but this series gave you fantastic music during it's cinematic scenes. Whether it was watching Kim get killed by General RAAM or the soul crushing scene of when Dom finds Maria in Gears of War 2, this series pulled you in with it's tone, heightening the peril, exciting you with the danger and even breaking your heart. The booming tones of the series echo in your brain hours after you shutdown the game. If you don't believe me, play the end of Gears of War 3 and try not to hum the theme in the end.

The Best of the Best when it comes to video game music.

The Legend of Zelda - The cream of the crop when it comes to video game music. Koji Kondo created the greatest of all video game themes and adjusted the music from game to game in a way that made every installment unique. In fact, the one time the music for the series was criticized was when they didn't include the famous Legend of Zelda theme in arguably their greatest game (Ocarina of Time). Still, every edition of this series has not just given fans good music- it's been great music. Every aspect of the music accentuated each main (and even most minor) characters, the story, the time of day, the mood and even broke you emotionally. Music has also been a weapon used by Link in every edition of this series. Whether it was saving Zelda, facing Ganon (or Ganondorf in later games) to surprise twists or that tone when you solved a mystery. Most people can tell you exactly what game it is from the first couple bars of the theme. It was so popular that Nintendo gave away a CD of the series popular themes. Most fans would agree that it was worth the extra money for the "special edition".

Why Video Games Movies Haven't Worked

Remember the days when playing a video game was just simply popping a quarter into a machine and trying to finish a level? Whether it was playing Donkey Kong, Spy Hunter or Arknoid, people had fun with arcade games before it moved in the home with Pac Man, Super Mario Bros and Sonic the Hedgehog leading the way. Let's just say things have evolved since then. Now video games are well-written narratives that engross their player into a story -where some even evoke an emotional response- all tuned to music from a full orchestra written by the same guys that write the scores for blockbuster motion pictures. Hollywood is trying to get more video games on bigger screens than your flat screen at home. However, these stories haven't been able to be adapted to the big screen. Why? Were their casts not good enough? Did they not have top notch directors? What went wrong?

For starters, look at the facts. Despite making about $678 million worldwide during it's series, the Resident Evil movies have been mediocre at best. Their Rotten Tomatoes score never broke 34% so critics and audiences didn't like it too much despite what box office grosses have to say. Part of the problem to the hardcore RE fans is that the addition of Alice changed the story completely. The RE game was about a special OPs team that was dropped into a strange situation, only to discover that one of their own agents assisted in creating the ultimate biological weapon. The movie... went another way. It begins with the incident and turns into a bizarre retelling of "Alice in Wonderland". Does that sound like the same story? Of course not, but somehow this spawned THREE more movies and a fifth coming in September. In spite of low quality of these films, it keeps making money. Guess that proves movies don't have to be good, just slapped with a brand name.

The fundamental part of the video game storytelling is gone when put on screen. Plug in your console and pop in a random action game. Usual formula now is cinema scene (tutorial maybe) and then a task that leads to the expanding story. A film needs to introduce the character and have an inciting incident to draw the viewer in. A video game already has the viewer and the experience expands the story, whereas a film has to tell the story. Hence why a game like "F.E.A.R." works well, but if made into a film wouldn't using the exact same formula would be dreadful. Take "Gears of War" (always rumored in production) uses a 5 act structure. There's only three acts in a movie. So right away there's two acts that needs to be removed and that's not including that the original Gears game focused on Marcus Fenix without explaining E-Day. It wasn't until the second story that Gears developed Dom's story and the history of the War. "Gears of War" cannot do that if they make a film, especially if the producers want the trilogy. 

Part of the problem with video game films is that the player is meant to be in a game for several hours. A film is meant to hold you for 2 hours. Now, how do you just remove bits of story without hurting the overall experience your audience has already enjoyed? Take "Super Mario Bros" -the first video game movie- which made up a story about plumbers who travelled to another dimension to take on Koopa, who is a crime boss and not a giant turtle-like creature. This film was doomed from the start. Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as Italian plumbers? Really? None of the film embodied it's more successful namesake and what's worse is that it proved what not to do with a video-game-movie. At least "Double Dragon" didn't make the same mistake... oh wait.

The other way around is true as well, look at "Street Fighter" and "Mortal Kombat" which were two games that had minimal story and yet were expanded to make 90 minute movies. The result was two films with weak storylines and characters you weren't sure if you wanted to root for them in the first place. A fighting game doesn't really have a hero. It has heroes. So there's no clear person to root for and what if your favorite characters was Ryu and Johnny Cage and the film centers around Guile and Liu Kang. Seriously, did anyone think Raiden was a good guy?

Now, it is possible to make a good video game movie. If you consider "Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within" as one. Instead of making a film about their highly successful "Final Fantasy VII", Square Soft told another story with new characters. This film featured the voices of Ming Na, Ving Rhames, Alec Baldwin, Donald Sutherland, Steve Buscemi and James Woods. It was the highest rated video-based film... that was not based of a game. "Silent Hill" and "Prince of Persia" focused on their stories a little bit more and lead to a better product, but there still hasn't been a "Citizen Kane" for video game films. There were rumors of John Woo being attached to "Metroid", but there still hasn't been any activity from Nintendo with rumors that "The Legend of Zelda" will never find it's way to the big screen. One good thing came from the failure to make "Halo", Peter Jackson ended up using Neil Blomkamp to make "District 9" when they couldn't get a script for the game.

Maybe Hollywood gets it right sometime soon. They're going to have plenty of opportunities coming up.  Internet rumors have up 20 games being optioned to become features, but will they ever be the same quality as the comic book films that have come out in the last decade. Hard to tell, but don't let this ruin you from popping back in your favorite game and playing it again.